[Misc] Secrets of the Heart 03

Chapter Three – I Could Not Ask For More

I don’t really know what it was that woke me up this time either. I guess I was just lightly sleeping, the slightest irregularity causing me to awaken. But despite the fact that my mind had slipped out of the dream world, I wanted to return to sleep. Mugen hadn’t moved in his position at all, seemingly dead to the world.

I shivered when a cool breeze came out of nowhere, brushing across my exposed shoulder. So cold… I pulled closer to Mugen, trying to steal some of his warmth. It was not fair. He was always so hot, so much like a tempting fire that I fear I might somehow burn myself. I was usually cold, like something within me had died and now the rest of me was slowly turning to ice.

It was then that I realized the sound that must have woken me. It had begun to rain, albeit softly, but gentle falling drops of water nonetheless. The sky that had been brilliantly colored and shiny gold of sunlight so promising that morning, had turned dismal and grey with the covering of the thunderclouds. The rain only made me want to go back to sleep more, nostalgia creeping in at the sound of it.


…The rain fell with a vengeance, nearly blinding my vision as I stood beside her on the bridge. She seemed so alone. I did not know what possessed me to speak to her, but I followed my instincts.

I knew that she took my words to heart, even though it appeared that she wasn’t listening. That was evident after I walked away, never expecting to see her again, until another fateful moment.

Her tale of woe… I didn’t know why it struck me so deeply. There was just something about the pain in her eyes, it was familiar…

*end flashback*

I sighed, recalling that particular memory and snuggled closer to him, burying my face in his chest. It was the rain that caused us to meet then, and the rain that eventually drove us away from each other.

Mugen must not have been as deep into sleep as I thought he was. He made a small noise in the back of his throat that caused me to look up at him. He opened his eyes slowly, looking at me bleary and unfocused.

“Why are you awake?” he asked, his voice thick and raspy with sleep. “Not thinking again?”

“No, just listening to the rain.” Little white lies never hurt anyone.

“Oy? Is it raining?” He craned his neck to look out the window.

“Hai. Go back to sleep,” I answered, smiling at him.

He yawned sleepily at that, returning my smile. He wrapped his arms around me tighter, which I was grateful for. More warmth to soothe my cold exterior. He closed his eyes and began to drift off into sleep.

He never did have any trouble sleeping, no matter where or when we were back then. He would just flop down on the ground, in the oddest of positions I might add, and promptly start snoring. At the time I thought him the laziest cur in Japan. Smiling, I realized that now, I found that quality endearing. It added to his sense of non-discipline, his defiant nature that suited him well.

His breathing evened and I knew he was asleep.

When did I get so lucky? I never knew I would be worthy of one day enjoying this happiness. Lying here with him, being held close by someone, knowing that I was cared for, it was so unknown to me, so foreign. I accepted it willingly and gladly. If I ever needed a reason for living, I knew now where to look. I had finally found someone to bring back a spark a joy to my rapidly declining heart.

I always thought that because of my past, because of my training and where I come from, who I am, that no one would ever want me. Even now I still find it hard to believe. Sure he has committed crimes too, but it is different to me. It means something more or less than it does for him. After becoming a ronin, I did not think that I would ever find anything ever again. I was ultimately waiting for someone to show me a path even as I wandered aimlessly. What other reason did I have for existing? I loved Mugen that much I was sure of. He had returned the gesture, something I never thought possible.

We were so different he and I. It would be a miracle if we can make things work. Then again, I thought it would take one just to ever feel again, rather than stay locked up in my cocoon of paralyzed life. I was like ice and he was the fire that set me free. I was of old Japan, in rigidity, in structure, raised with pampering and money, though you wouldn’t guess by looking at me now. As for he, guessing by what he has let slip, he had never really had a family, a home, no formal training.

In fact, despite our unique chemistry in the bedroom, we had nothing at all in common. What would sustain us, I wondered, when our lives increased in age and we became older? Then again, who ever said anything about commitment? I wasn’t even sure if we had decided we were spending the rest of our lives together.

All I know was that when he touched me, I could think of nothing but him and the feel of him on me, in me, around me. It sent a fire coursing through my veins and it was like I was no longer me, but someone better, someone more whole, whose life had never been touched by pain or neglect. What more did I need than that satisfaction, than that perfect completion? Who cared if it only lasted so long?

I made my decision when I did not walk out the door. I thought perhaps, that I already knew then but was just foolishly ignoring myself. It was better to have felt, to have lived for a short while, even if it ended in pain, then to have never cared at all.

We finally got up somewhere around mid afternoon, having slept ourselves out. We dressed slowly, hardly able to keep our hands off each other as we intermittently kissed. If it hadn’t been for his growling stomach, I was positive that continuously horny Mugen would have pushed me back onto the bed. For him, it was a choice between two carnal desires. For me, I was just happy to be able to look at him, he was all I needed. Though I suppose he would argue in turn that food was necessary too. Same old Mugen.

Despite the fact that it was pouring ridiculously outside, we headed out to find some sort of meal. The inn he had chosen did not house a bar or a restaurant so we were on our own.

I stepped outside of the inn first, shivering in the chilled air, the rain splashing on my face and glasses, obscuring my vision. The sky was indeed dismal, a flat unfriendly looking dark grey. I felt no desire to go on the road today. Not at all.

“You know what?” started Mugen as he stepped out behind me.


“As much as I love to travel, I really hate the rain,” he complained as he stretched and glared at the sky. Trust Mugen to blame his misfortune on something as uncontrollable as the weather.

“I would have to agree.” I nodded my head and started down the road, mud splashing up onto my clothes. Great. I would have to wash them later, right after I took my own bath of course. I felt so dirty, not because of Mugen, just because it had been so long. Not like it would bother him or anything.

“So, here’s to saying we stay until the storm passes?” asked Mugen holding up an umbrella over my head that he had hidden behind his back.

I took it gratefully, trying to hold it over both our heads. “Where did you get this?”

“People really should learn not to leave their umbrella’s by the door.” He smirked, eyes flashing with his humor. I shook my head, understanding his meaning. “Is that an agreement then?”

“Yes. I don’t want to go wading through mud and rain either.”

We walked through the mostly empty streets, everyone staying inside due to the rain. I did not blame them. If it hadn’t been for my growling stomach, I would have stayed indoors too.

I watched Mugen as we walked, though not so much that he would notice it. I did not want him to see just how much I was in love with him just yet. He had skipped out from under the umbrella almost immediately after he gave it to me, like he did not care about getting wet despite his grumbling.

He looked so right standing out there, underneath the rain. I don’t know why I thought that, but I did. Like being out in the open, unrestrained, was the only way he would ever be. The man was like the wind, free, never ceasing, unable to be caught and trapped.

Mugen walked nonchalantly, whistling with his hands behind his head, stretching out his broad but lean shoulders, as if it were not raining. I clutched the umbrella tighter, and yet, here I was hiding beneath a covering, as if afraid of stepping out of my boundaries. Such an unlikely pair…

We found one shop that was open, despite the weather. It was small and warm. But Mugen was ready to eat as soon as possible and return to the inn.

Munching on the rolls of rice and meat thoughtfully, we headed back to our room.

If all I needed in this world, was right here in front of me, then I was satisfied.

It appeared that Mugen had much the same thoughts as mine when he suddenly attacked me the moment we got into the room. I had just walked in, turning to lean the sodden umbrella against the door jamb, when he leapt on me, soaking me with his own wet clothes. We went crashing to the ground, him on top of me. He kicked the door shut from prying eyes.

“Mugen!” I exclaimed, more out of surprise than anything. He grinned cheekily and gave me a hot and heavy kiss which I returned with equal vigor, overcoming my initial shock.

“Come on Jin, it’s been so long,” he whined and rubbed his groin into mine. I felt his hardness even through my clothes.

“Long! It was just a few hours ago!” I said, just to be teasing. I had to bite back a groan when he ground into me again, arousing me into wakefulness.

“Exactly,” he said, as if that explained everything. He leaned down and kissed me hungrily, water dripping onto my face from his wet hair. As much as I loved this man, he looked like a drowned rat with his hair plastered to his head.

I let him kiss me for a minute, not that it was difficult for me to do. I loved feeling his hot mouth on me, constantly seeking dominance even in something as simple as that. Then I pushed up at him.

“Mugen, you’re soaking wet,” I complained. I already felt the wetness from his clothes seeping into my own.

Not that I minded him sitting on me and pressing his body against mine. It felt so good to be able to do this, like I did not have to hide anything from him. How we went from being enemies to comfortable friends I will never know, but I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

“If somebody had shared their umbrella, I wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“I tried.” I sighed, but more out of habit than any real irritation. If I spent the rest of my life, in playful erotic moments like this, then I suppose I would live a happy man, despite the secrets of the past…

“Not hard enough. So, what am I to do about this?” He leaned back on his heels, straddling me as I lay on the floor. I sat up, placing my weight on my elbows. He put his hand on his chin as if thinking deeply. I took his moment of distraction and used it to my advantage.

I lurched forward and wrapped my arms around his midsection, throwing my weight in such a way that I tipped us over. He fell in surprise, when I quickly disentangled myself and switched positions. Now I was the one in control.

I reached down lazily with one finger, pushing up his shirt to reveal bare chest. His skin was slightly cold from wearing the wet clothes. I traced circles around his nipple while he moaned slightly.

“And here I thought you were going to turn me down,” he moaned.

I smiled softly at that before I reached down to push off his red coat. It wouldn’t do for him to be dressed like this.

It was funny but who would have ever thought that one day I would find myself rolling around on the floor of an inn with a man the complete opposite of me. I was enjoying what was happening, finding that I was able to smile, and even being the aggressor in terms of hot and heavy sex. It was an utterly amazing fact to me. I wondered if I had died somewhere along the way and that I was merely living some dream in a type of heaven… but murderers like me don’t go to heaven.

Mugen groaned and gathered my attention. I realized that I had stopped moving and was staring off into space.

“Hullo? Stop disappearing into your mind on me,” he said playfully, reaching up to undo the ties on my clothes.

“Only for you,” I answered softly, leaning down to give him a kiss. But before I could get there, he sneezed suddenly and abruptly, causing me to pull back in surprise.

”Sorry,” he said, reaching back up to pull me back down. Then he sneezed again, groaning as he did so.

I couldn’t help but laugh even as he sneezed for yet a third time.

“This isn’t funny!” he argued, trying to cover his face with his hands as he sneezed again, this time accompanied by a dry and rasping cough. He started to shiver a little beneath me.

I frowned and looked at him worriedly. He did seem a little pale… I reached down and placed my hand on his face, pulling back in shock when I realized how cold he was. Odd for a man who nearly always burned with inner warmth.

It was then that I realized my stupidity. He had been out in the rain all day and now wore wet clothes. He was getting sick!

He sneezed again and groaned, coughing softly.

“Come on,” I said abruptly, getting off of him and reaching down to pull him up. “We need to get you out of those clothes and into bed.”

“This is all your fault you know,” He said, eyeing me. “Making me get out of bed and go out into the rain. Now I am sick and I’m going die!” His proclamation of death was accompanied by another resounding sneeze.

I shook my head and helped him remove his clothes. “You are not going to die you idiot. It is just a small set of the chills. It should pass once you get warm.”

“It’s your entire fault, bastard,” moaned Mugen, teeth beginning to chatter. It was quite amusing actually.

“Blame me if you will,” I responded with a smile as I brought him over to the bed, tucking the blankets around him tightly. “I don’t mind.” He closed his eyes tiredly as if he was going to go right to sleep.

I started to get up from the bed but his hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. I looked down at him in confusion.

”Where do you think you’re going?”

“I am going to remove my clothes because now they are wet. And that, Mugen, is entirely your fault,” I answered, smirking.

“Oh,” he said, releasing my wrist. “I thought you weren’t going to lie down with me. You owe me, remember?”

I removed my clothes as he talked, folding them neatly. They would need a good washing eventually. Damn if Mugen wasn’t rubbing off on me already. Going to sleep instead of washing out my clothes, I never thought that would happen.

“Only so that you can be warm,” I said, as I climbed beneath the covers. He immediately turned towards me, snuggling up against me. It felt wonderful to have his skin pressed against mine. Then, he sneezed again. Gross. How romantic was that?”

“Sorry,” he said tiredly.

I forgave him.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tighter, hoping to convey some type of warmth. Usually it was me that looked to him for warmth. Odd that our positions should be so reversed.

He sighed softly as his breathing evened. Mugen coughed a few times and that made me feel bad. I suppose he is right, it is slightly my fault but he is just as much to blame, stubborn swordsman!

“Jin?” He spoke to me and here I was thinking he was asleep.

“Hm?” I asked, closing my eyes as I enjoyed the sensation of him breathing on my neck.

“I want you,” he purred. Then to enunciate his point, he moved forward slightly, his erection brushing lightly against me.

Instantly, aroused warmth began to spread through my body. I felt it go straight through my spine, lighting the fire in my groins. I groaned slightly and angled my head to get a good look at him. He was already looking up at me, mischievous smile on his face.

“But…you are sick,” I protested slightly.

“So?” he questioned, raising one eyebrow at me. He stretched and kissed me hungrily.

“So… you should rest,” I said, breaking away from him. My fingers trailed down his bare back and he shivered with the feeling.

“I don’t care about that…” he muttered moving his head back down to my chest, his slightly damp hair tickling underneath my chin. He latched onto a nipple and sucked it strongly, drawing out a low moan from me. “I want you in me. Now.”

How could I say no to such a request?

I shrugged my shoulders, reaching down for his erection. “You asked for it.”

I curled my fingers around his length, stroking him gently. He moaned and closed his eyes, arching his back. Precum was already dribbling from his tip. Just knowing that he wanted me that much, made me harder than a rock.

I leaned down and claimed his mouth, tongue pushing past his lips eagerly. I tasted him, part rice and meat, mostly that natural flavor that was Mugen. I hungered after that taste often. He returned the kiss eagerly, nipping at my bottom lip when he got the chance. It was decidedly erotic.

I felt hands on my shoulders as Mugen reached up and pressed me flat on my back. I complied, not really minding if he took control or not. I felt his weight settle over me as he straddled my hips. I looked up into his flushed features as he leaned forward and latched onto my nipples again.

“I thought you wanted…uhn…me on top?” I questioned, groaning with the intense sensations that were spreading throughout my body from his touch.

“Nope,” he answered, sliding down my body until his face rested right over my achingly hard length. I could feel his warm breath on the tip and shuddered. “I’m on top.” I felt his hot wet mouth wrap around me and I nearly screamed with the feeling. He licked and sucked, nipped carefully, until I was writhing ridiculously beneath him.

“God Mugen… your making me crazy…” I muttered, hands clutching the bed sheets beneath us.

He released me from his mouth and sat up suddenly, cocking up one eyebrow. He grinned at me seductively before he straddled my hips again, his entrance poised right above my aching member. My hands instinctively went to his hips, guiding him as he slowly impaled himself on me.

He closed his eyes, half in ecstasy, half in pain, as he sank downwards until he had me completely surrounded. “Damn Jin…so…so…good,” he stuttered.

I moaned right along with him, the feeling indescribable. I felt him all tight around me, squeezing occasionally and it was so erotic. I felt myself pulsating slowly. It would not take me long.

Carefully, slowly, Mugen moved his hips up, then back down again. A sign that he was more than ready for the really good stuff to begin.

I complied, holding tightly to his hips as I began to thrust up and down, sliding in and out slowly of his heat. It felt so good.

I looked up at Mugen. His eyes were closed and his head hung slightly backwards. He was lost in his desire. I relinquished my hold on his hip and gripped his erection with my own right hand. I stroked him to the beat of our thrusts. All that was heard in the room was the slap of flesh on flesh and impassioned moans from us.

I pushed on his hip a little, just to get him to lean back some and rest against my bent legs. He complied and on the very next thrust I touched that sweet spot within him.

“Shit!!” he cursed loudly, his scream turning into a hiss as it settled into a moan.

“You like?” I asked rhetorically.

“Shit yeah!” he exclaimed. “Don’t you dare stop!” As if I would.

I increased the tempo of my thrusts as he clutched the sheets with his hands. Good. This was for him, the uncouth swordsman who had stolen my heart. Not that I wasn’t benefiting as well.

“Uhnnn…” moaned Mugen. I sensed he was nearing his climax as was I. I sped up my thrusts, becoming even wilder and off tempo.

He came first, and loudly at that, screaming something wordless as he spurted his warm sticky cum everywhere, the bed, himself, and especially on me, after all I was on bottom. But from my vantage point I saw everything, and it was far too much for me.

The look of wild abandon on his face, coupled with him climaxing all around me, and I had no choice but to give into my release. White sparks seemed to dance in front of my eyes as I emptied my seed into Mugen.

He collapsed against me tiredly as I struggled to gather enough strength to hold him close. The only sounds were our heavy, labored breathing. I held him close as long as possible, before I pulled out and moved him over to the side. He had more girth than me and he was crushing me.

He did not protest. Instead he snuggled closer and started to go to sleep. I smiled softly and started to sink into oblivion. And then…

Mugen sneezed.


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