[xxx-Holic] The Fallen Butterfly

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Doumeki is often reminded of this the more time he spends with Watanuki, from the before to the after. He’s different now, a little quieter, a little softer, a little more contained. But at heart, he’s still the same Watanuki. Blustering and loud and pretending he hates cooking and company, but enjoying every minute of it.

He’s different with Doumeki, too, but still the same. He relents a little more often now, gives in with less of a fight, but the fight remains. He sometimes yells or flails, but not as often as before and only when it’s just the two of them. He mutters about slobbery kisses and lecherous hands and “big, dumb oafs that have no regard for romance or anything really” but in the end he lets Doumeki kiss him anyway. Different and yet the same.

Doumeki buries his face in Watanuki’s bared throat and breathes, taking in the scents of tea and smoke and cooking. He mouths at pale skin, tasting sweet and salty all at once. Watanuki’s warm and far too thin, but he’s Watanuki so that makes it all better.

Doumeki’s hands roam, dragging down Watanuki’s sides, tickling over bare skin, tracking the reach of thin, long limbs. Watanuki squirms, uncomfortable under so much determined focus, but for once, he doesn’t complain.

Sometimes, in moments like this, he relents just a little and that makes it worth everything in the world.

Doumeki can only see him here, can only be with him in this house, in this room that still feels like it’s former owner. He is Watanuki’s link to the outside world, and there’s something heady in that, something that makes him feel valued and cherished.

His hand slides aside layers of expensive silk, a perfect match to Watanuki’s pale skin. This Watanuki who is so different and yet the same. He tastes the same, feels the same, but there is a brokenness inside that Doumeki wishes he could fix and keep. He doesn’t know what he wants, except to say that he wants Watanuki. He has the feeling Yuko would have smiled saying that it makes perfect sense.

Yuko, however, is the source of this change, and so Doumeki wisely steers away from thoughts of her. For now.

He instead focuses on Watanuki, the subtle changes in his breathing, the way his body squirms and moves fluidly. The taste of his skin and the look in his eyes, one his own, one Doumeki’s. Another burst of possessive pride rises in him at that as well. His in so many ways.

Doumeki kisses him, slowly and thoroughly, and hopes one day that it will be enough. Unlikely perhaps, but he’s also had a soft heart for lost causes. Watanuki is no exception.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s