[Shattered] A Promise is a Promise

I can’t help it, not that I am nervous or anything, but I just want to make sure it is still there. So again, I push my hand into my pocket and feel the small box that I have secreted there. I don’t know why I am so paranoid, but I just want to be sure.

I mean… seriously, after all the shit I went through to make sure Kyle keeps his damn mouth shut to help me; I want to be positive that nothing happens to ruin it. To think that I didn’t seriously consider it until all the stuff with Sephiroth and ShinRa went crazy kind of makes me ashamed of myself.

I mean, we’ve been together for how long? Six years?

Come on, Reno! I can’t believe I waited this long. He deserves so much more than that. Sometimes, I think he deserves more than me.

The separation that we had to endure I think is what made me realize that I am just being an idiot. I could have lost him while I was being stupid. Then again, he could have made the move first, but Reeve is cautious… I should say or more like reserved. I suppose if I were a woman, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I guess when it comes to me… I mean, I know he loves me, but I guess I kind of intimidate him. All this self-confidence, I suppose… hmm.

Anyways, that’s getting way off course from my original line of thought. I couldn’t help but wrap my fingers around the small velvety box, which I know to be a dark green, his favorite color. But of course, it is the item inside that I value more.

“You’re lagging behind, Reno. Again.” Elena’s voice cuts through my internal thinking, and I look up to see the three of them standing in front of me half-turned to face me with quizzical looks on their faces.

I hardly pay attention to Archer and Elena, after all. They are just my friends and I’ve had to see their ugly mugs for a long time. It is in fact, the man between them that catches my eye and my attention.

Six years… has it been that long?

It seems like every day is new to me when I am with him. We are like the perfect match. I admit I’m rude and brash. I probably drink a little too much now and then, and hell, I am the furthest thing from being organized. He is calm and collected, intelligent, and I mean the man is a freaking genius! From university to a soldier to a member of the board of executives in ShinRa in less than seven years… that shit’s amazing! Fat ass Heidegger took twenty years to climb to the top!

I think it was his looks that first attracted him to me that day, almost nine years ago. That was the first time that I actually saw him, though we didn’t meet officially for another two years. He was talking to someone that I didn’t recognize, though now I know it to be Rude, when I caught him looking my way.

That had been a weird situation. I had just been brought in the first time for pick-pocketing. I tried to steal from the wrong pocket… Tseng’s, but that’s story for another time. Anyways, I happened to look over, and there he was, standing and conversing with this huge, black man that was bald even then. I think Rude just likes the style.

His amber eyes were scanning a document intensely, and he appeared to be thinking. He chewed his bottom lip as he occasionally nodded to whatever it was Rude was saying. I couldn’t help but find that action extremely sexy. Pulling that perfectly plump, bottom lip between fine, white teeth and biting down gently before releasing. Oh, it sends shivers down my spine even to this day.

And then, what a stroke of luck, he turned his head for some reason or another and looked right at me. I swear that sparks flew between our gazes, and I couldn’t stop the small pant of desire that swept through me. He was clean shaven then, not that it took away from his good lucks, and he was ruggedly handsome. He had thick, black hair cut military style, of course, and with a well-pressed suit, not at all unlike that belonging to the Turks. And it clung to his body in all the right places.

His eyes held determination and hunger… and something else, too. Something that I didn’t understand then, but I come to know now. It is difficult to explain even to myself. It’s like something I just knew.

That moment of contact only lasted for a few seconds, but I knew then that I just had to have a taste of that man. Hell, I’m a lover of pleasure. I didn’t care for gender. Man, woman, they all bring forms of ecstasy that I just can’t find on my own. I didn’t think I would have a chance then, being in the situation I was, but I sure as hell wanted one.

Looking at him now, I am glad that the chance came. I never expected to find love in him, one night stands more my forte than forevers, but I didn’t exactly want to give it up either. He is like a drug to me; I just have to have him near me.

“Reno? Hello? Geez, he’s spacing out again.” Archer this time, and he is laughing at me.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and take my hand out of my pockets. No need to make him suspicious. I want things to be a surprise. I want it to be perfect. I shrug my shoulders and roll my eyes at our two friends, Kyle and Elena.

“Can’t a man get lost in thought, yo?” I tease as I swagger up and throw an arm across the shoulder of my lover. I feel him move slightly as his arm comes around my waist, pulling me close to his side.

“You? Having a thought?” Elena snickers. “It’s a miracle. Somebody check the sky, I think the swine are flying.”

“Shut up!” I snap at her teasingly unable to come up with a better comeback. My thoughts are in too many different places to even be able to argue with her effectively.

Archer shakes his head and just laughs at us. “Do you two ever do anything more than bicker?”

“No way!” Elena exclaims seemingly horrified. “He’d have to be straight for that to happen!”

I sniff, as if I am offended. “Oh, my wounded self-esteem. I am truly crushed.” With that, I lean over and lick Reeve across his cheek.

He grimaces slightly before a grin appears on his face and reaches up with a hand to wipe off the spittle. “I’ve been slimed,” he jokes before grabbing my chin and kissing me on the lips.

I swear, smooching with this man has the ability to take my breath away at each first press of the lips, even this much time later. I love it when he is aggressive like this because usually it’s me instead.

Hell, he is the one that is always like, “No, Reno, no public displays of affection.”

I mean, I could understand that before when we couldn’t get caught, but even on vacations and stuff, he was like that.

I greedily devour his mouth with the kiss, trying to ignore the catcalls and whooping of our dumb-ass friends. I could understand it; they were jealous. I pull away from the kiss only when the need for air separates us and grin at Archer and Elena before slinging my arm around Reeve and heading for our room.

—-

Reeve groans as I push open the door, going in first. After all, he is carrying most of the bags. I start to think desperately about where I should put my precious purchase until the time is right. We had rented a hotel room with all the works, kitchen included. So, I have plans. Dinner, seduction, fabulous sex and then bam! I’m going to pop the question. But first, I have to make sure he doesn’t find it.

“I’m going to go start dinner.” I begin heading towards the kitchen.

He brightens considerably at that, face becoming less exhausted. It is a surprise to know that I am actually a decent cook, and at times, I make the meals rather than him, even though he is far better at it than me.

Ah love, it tends to make us think our significant others are perfect, doesn’t it?

“Okay, I’m going to put these in the bedroom,” he responds gesturing towards the bags in his hand before he moved down the hall towards the room.

Hmm, the bedroom, that causes all sorts of naughty thoughts to enter my mind. I suppose I could seduce him, then feed him, then propose… then seduce him again. In fact, I think Reno Jr. likes that idea far better.

Grinning despite myself, I move into the kitchen and search for a place to secret the ring. I stand by the sink and muse over the many nooks and crannies, even as I pull the box out of my pocket. I can’t resist the urge to look at it once more, and so I do, snapping open the velvet top and taking another peek.

The bright, fluorescent light above me makes the diamonds in the band sparkle. It is the perfect width: thin but not feminine with a simple but elegant design. I know that he will love it because it is just his style. For a moment, a slight bit of doubt enters my mind.

What if he says no? What if I end up scaring him away? I know he loves me, but what if he’s just not ready to make that step? After all, he was straight before he met me. Yet, something’s are just meant to be, you know?

I fight down that brief moment of panic and snap the ring box shut. A look of determination crosses my face because even if he says no, even if it scares him, I will still love him. I will wait and give him another chance. It is then that my eyes spot the perfect hiding place.

I squat down next to the small wine case on the floor and take off the one that I plan on serving with dinner tonight. Then I moved another one off the bottommost shelf and switch them. I scoot the ring case behind the one I plan to serve on the bottom and replace the wine bottle. With my thieving skills, it should be easy to slip it back out and into my pocket when I serve dinner later.

I smile in satisfaction and stand back up. With the ring safely secreted, I can go back to my original intention. I can vaguely hear the sounds of plastic rustling from the far room. I know that organization-crazy Reeve is probably hanging up that new shirt that he bought so that it is free of wrinkles, even though we will be leaving soon and putting everything back into the bags. But still, a place for everything, new lube included, has always been his motto.

Feh! If it were me, the bags would lie there probably for a month until the day that I tripped on them.

I take off my jacket as I walk through the kitchen and head toward the bedroom, dropping it on the floor as I go. I slip off my shoes as my pulse starts to quicken. My body is well acquainted with the taste and feel of Reeve and is always ready for more.

I can just imagine it now: he moans beneath me as I nibble on his nipples, and his cheeks flush as he gets even more aroused. His eyes flash as usual, and becoming half-lidded whenever I nip him in just the right places.

My slacks are tightening, even as I think about him, and I have to bite back a groan.

I pause just inside the doorway to assess the situation. As expected, Reeve is kneeling on the floor, sorting through the bags, occasionally taking an item out and putting it in another one. I suppose last minute before the world ends shopping needs to be organized. I mean, I’d hate for Meteor to fall with everything in the wrong place.

I watch him for just a moment, noting that I didn’t need anyone to tell me my reason. He is sitting in front of me, looking as serious as one can look as he tries to put everything in its place. He has already taken off his jacket and loosened his tie; his shoes are placed neatly by the door, lined up and everything. Reeve has opened the curtains that face the open grassland just outside of Kalm so that the sun’s falling rays would shine in our room.

What more could a guy ask for?

I love him. I honestly do. And I would die to make sure that his dreams come true and that he lives. I know that sounds kind of clichéd, and it doesn’t make any sense, but it’s how I feel. I have this “must protect mentality”, though I can’t say why. Living on the streets for most of my life, I usually think of me and me only. But with him, I don’t know. It’s like I have two concerns now and usually, he comes first.

Sappy, yes, but also… honest.

I take this opportunity, while his back is turned, to use all of my pick-pocketing skills and tackle him from the back. We go down with only a slight crash, and I end up straddling his back with him lying facedown on the ground.

“Mmm.” I lean forward and nibble on the back of his neck, and I feel him shiver beneath him.

He moves slightly, trying to get in a better position so that he’s no longer breathing carpet. “Ugh, Reno, I think we should work on your approach.”

I smirk. “Perhaps,” I whisper suggestively in his ear, “but I’m hungry.” To prove my point, I stick my tongue out and swirl it over his ear. He moans impatiently and tries to move his arms to reach for me but can’t. I am in total control. I snicker for a few seconds before my eyes widen in surprise.

He heaves upward with his body, a move I did not expect. I slide off to the side as he turns over onto his back, grabbing my hips as he does so and pulling my body down onto his… right onto a clothed erection as hard as rock. I moan when I feel the hardness press against my ass. It has been long time since I’ve been able to feel him inside me. Usually, it was the other way around, him liking the idea of giving up control to me. One of his kinks, I guess. Reno Jr, is enjoying the thought of this idea just as much as the one my imagination had cooked up earlier.

“I am, too.” He grins as he touches my shirt, nimble fingers already undoing the first of the four buttons. I decide to help him out, my eagerness overriding any plans to take it slow.

I hadn’t seen him in so long, other than the briefest of moments in Wutai, and with our current reuniting, I wanted him as much as I could get. I decide to save the mushy stuff for later, make love to him softly later, but for now, I just wanted to feel him inside me and on me, making me moan and writhe.

I reach down and unbutton his white shirt, pushing the fabric off his chest in the same smooth motion with one hand, while my deft fingers make short work of his pants button and belt. He wastes no time in throwing off my dress shirt, which I never have tucked and pulling the item off my body. Both get thrown in random directions, and I don’t particularly care where they land.

We wrestle around on the floor a bit, laughter erupting from our mouths as we struggle to disrobe. We eventually end up naked and in our original positions, I am straddling his hips and feeling his aching arousal beneath me, pressing along the crease of my ass.

I bend over and press my lips to his, greedily devouring his mouth with mine and claiming him as well as I can. I push my tongue into his mouth and swipe it around inside the wet cavern, reveling in the taste that is completely him. I rub my flesh along his, enjoying the slide of naked skin, a feeling that I had missed in our long separation.

His arms wrap around me, fingers tracing designs on my back. He moves against me in much the same dance, our dripping cocks sliding together. Our eyes lock in a heated gesture as I nibble along his jaw line before latching onto the skin of his neck, probably leaving more of my marks. I enjoy seeing him marked up, just as much as I enjoy leaving the marks myself.

“Reno…” he says with a sigh, a bit of exasperation in his voice as a result of the bright, red hickey I had just created. I grin devilishly as I pull back and nibble on his bottom lip. I grind my body down on his before responding.

“I just want people to know that this belongs to me,” I mumble against his skin before pulling back slightly.

I lean over his body and grasp the tail of the plastic bag that houses some of the last of our purchases. I can just see the bottle of oil that he we bought earlier, even though he wouldn’t tell me why we couldn’t just keep the one he had ‘found’.

Sneaky Reeve.

“Awfully possessive, aren’t you?” he questions rhetorically as he runs his hands down the sides of my chest. I don’t bother to respond, more important things on my mind.

With a heave, I pull the bag towards me and fish around for the lube, pressing it into his hand as I lean down and nibble at a peaked nipple. He moans softly at the feel of my lips on him, undulating beneath me in a most familiar dance.

He grins as he accepts the lube, flipping open the bottle with a thumb and pouring it out into his free hand. He trails the oil-slicked hand over my body, leaving a little line of shine behind him until he works his way towards my entrance, tracing it with two fingers before quickly pressing them inside. My body eagerly accepts the touch as he finds my prostrate and strokes it, causing me to gasp and bite at my lip, sinking down on his fingers and seeking more of the delicious pleasure that he is inducing.

“Damn,” I hiss aloud, eyes fluttering shut. “I taught you good…”

He chuckles. “I’ve always been a fast learner,” he comments before curling his fingers and stroking again at my sweet spot. I moan and writhe on top of him, hot fire curling in my belly and causing my shaft to swell and leak. His other hand squeezes my ass, kneading the soft flesh between his soft and strong fingers.

“Mmmm,” I moan in agreement, “but I want more.” I push down against his fingers further, seeking more stimulation. He grins as he takes the hint, pulling out the digits, only to coat his leaking arousal with more of the newly bought oil.

I thread my fingers through his as I help, watching a flush creep into his face as together we stroke his cock. He shivers, and I can feel the muscle of his thighs bunching beneath my ass as his shaft leaks. Amber eyes flutter, and I cannot wait any longer.

I release his cock and position myself above him as one of his hands goes to my hip to guide me, the other choosing to roam over my skin and send heated trails in its wake.

With a moan, he slides into me with practiced ease, every inch of him filling me in a way I find delicious. I love the way he feels inside me. I love the feel of his hands on me and caressing my sides and my nipples. I rub my hands over his chest as he slowly withdraws and plunges back into me. Our bodies are so well known to each other that it is easy to set the right pace.

I can feel a familiar fire burning inside me. This man, Reeve, can make me feel like no other. At first, the pace is slow, leisurely, us taking the time in a familiar dance as I lean down to kiss him. I bite his neck and collarbone with playful nips, running my tongue over his sensitive skin.

He rubs his hands over my body, pinching peaked nipples and ghosting fingers over my leaking shaft. But as our passion rises, heat building up into something that can’t be ignored, the pace increases until I am nearly bouncing on top of him. I slam down onto his cock with every move.

He bucks up into me at a pace that I enjoy thoroughly as his hands grasp my hips, pulling me down onto his cock. I grasp my leaking shaft and start stroking quickly, rubbing a thumb over the weeping slit before fisting myself. Small pants escape from my mouth as he ground up into my ass, hard cock sliding over my prostrate and strengthening the fire in my belly.

I tighten down on him, the mix of pain and pleasure enough to make me moan. His eyes roll into the back of his head as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing on it in a way that I found particularly sexy. I lean over just enough to kiss those pouted lips before pulling him back and bringing myself down hard on his cock.

It is more than I can take. My toes curl as I manage to stroke myself three more times before exploding into orgasm.

With a long drawn out moan that might have been his name, my back arched and my cock spasms in my hand, spurting out all over his chest. His hands tighten on my hips, the sight probably enough to send him over the edge as I feel warmth spreading through me along with the shuddering of his own completion. I collapse upon his chest, nuzzling my face into his neck as I do so.

He laughs lightly and wraps his arm around me as he does so, though his face is red with exertion, and he is breathing hard. Sweat dots his brow in an attractive way, and I have the urge to lick it off.

“I suppose you’re name will have to be kitty, now,” Reeve teases, stroking my spine with his fingers.

I harrumph and bite at his neck, sucking and licking until I leave another bright, red mark. He gasps faintly, and I feel his softened shaft still within me start to react again. Satisfied that he was sufficiently warned, I leave him with the mark and move to kiss him pressing my lips to his passionately.

He reciprocates before drawing back slightly, looking me in the eyes. “You’ve been awfully distracted today,” he comments idly, still stroking the skin of my back. His face takes on a somewhat darkened tone. “Are you worried about the fight?”

I shake my head negatively. “My job is about getting into situations that I might not survive. Death is something I’ve long been prepared for, yo.”

But even as I say it, I realize how hollow the words sound.

I never cared about dying before because before there was just me, by myself. No family, no friends except the Turks, and I knew they would understand. Who would really miss ol’ Reno when he was gone? But now, with this man in my life, I realize that my thinking has changed. I want to live because I don’t want to leave him alone. I don’t want to be without him.

He eyes me disbelievingly. “You’ve always been a horrible liar, Reno… at least to me.”

I sigh. “I suppose I didn’t really care before, but I do now. Sephiroth is one bad ass. I remember hearing stories about him, and the one time I met him, he scared the shit out of me.” I snuggle into his touch, glad to feel the warmth wrapped around me. I can’t help but wonder how he feels.

From the beginning, the fact that we are both men has been a hard point for Reeve to overcome. He was straight before we met, and it took a long time for us to get together, Mr. Tequila helping a lot. It’s hard to say, but Reeve’s an embarrassment to men everywhere when he drinks. It doesn’t take much.

He has faced a lot to be with me, including discrimination. We had to keep our relationship a secret, though that didn’t stop us from worrying about each other. We couldn’t go out in public or introduce each other to our friends, although Rude eventually found out where I had been sneaking off to. He had to pretend to date women so no one would get suspicious, whereas it did not matter what I did. I was a Turk. Relationships weren’t really part of my job. Reeve, however, was an executive.

It was hard for him… much harder than it had been for me, but we endured it to be together. There was something about the way he makes me feel that made it worthwhile. I had never felt that way with anyone. He was the first to make me want to be monogamous, like he provided everything I needed.

“I always thought he was a bit cold, but then again, I can’t say I’ve seen him on the battle field,” Reeve commented as he thought about it. “There’s a good chance we might not survive.”

The words were something I have not expected Reeve to say. Despite his intelligence and job, he is the perfect optimist. I’m the one that’s pessimistic, comes with the territory, and I frown as I contemplate what he said.

I start to rethink my plan. He has a point. What if I went through with it, and we started to look forward to a lifetime together… started to think about what could be? What if something happened? I know Reeve. If we made a promise to each other, he would keep it, no matter what it was. Something as important as this… he would keep it til his death, even if I died in the fight against Sephiroth.

But I did not want that for him. I want him to be happy, even if it meant he could not be with me. Like before, in the beginning, I gave the choice to back out, knowing all that he was suffering. But he refused to take it; he was convinced that what we had together was worth the sacrifice. Reeve was ever the romantic.

Thinking of someone before myself? It is a first for me, but I am willing to sacrifice for him.

What if I wait? What if I hold on to the ring and wait until after the battle, when I am sure that we will survive, when I am sure that we can handle anything together? If I give him this much longer, there is also less of a chance that he will be afraid of what I have to ask… like a celebratory thing.

“Don’t say that,” I scold gently, punching him lightly on the arm. “If we think like that now, then the battle is already lost.” Woah! Talk about a switch. Here, I am trying to be encouraging.

He shakes his head. “I’m not as strong as Nanaki and Cloud. I–” He breaks off, as if he isn’t sure he wants to complete his sentence, but I had an idea of what he was going to say. I’ve been around him long enough to know what’s on his mind.

“I love you,” I say, looking into those beautiful amber eyes. “You know that, right?”

I love him more than words can say. I want him in my life, for the rest of it that I have. I want to make that promise and be the one that supports him for everything. If it comes down to it, I would take the bullet just so he doesn’t have to be in pain.

And the ring that I have hiding behind a wine bottle is enough to prove it to him. But as much as I want to give it to him now, to wine and dine him away, making love all night long until we can hardly breathe, I know that I cannot.

I do not make promises he cannot keep. And if I have to die so that he lives, I can’t keep that vow. I won’t be able to marry him like I plan. I will keep that ring, keep it close to me until I know that I can give it to him. Until I know that when he accepts it, he realizes that I mean forever, and we won’t have to worry about hiding or being apart again.

He shakes his head. “You’re acting weird again,” he comments before kissing me. “But I’ve come to accept that about you. I love you, too. Now, let’s get off the floor. If I’m not mistaken, you’ve promised me dinner.”

I grin as I climb off of him with a little grope and start searching for my clothes, planning something delicious in my mind. “A promise is a promise,” I say with a wink.

He doesn’t know what I had planned, but I know he’ll be surprised after this battle. When we win this fight, when the world is safe, and I know we can live with some peace. When we no longer have to worry for our lives or care what others think, I will ask him.

I know that I can’t live without him, and after this is over, I’m pretty sure I won’t have to.

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